Bob was bored. It was Sunday afternoon, the footy had been cancelled, due to it not having been invented, and there was no telly, so he couldn't watch Songs of Praise. In fact, living a long time ago really had its drawbacks, and Bob frequently wished for inventers to be invented so they could invent stuff to cheer him up.

But, alas, this was only the dream of a caveman, and a ginger caveman at that, for Bob was blessed with lovely ginger hair and a grizzly ginger beard. Which was not very helpful, since it tended to scare people away.

So to ease his boredom, he left the cave, and went in search of food. Unfortunately, due to Sunday Trading Laws, supermarkets were not allowed to open until the 1870s, so he had to try and find fruit and nuts, and possibly kill a bird or small mammal if his beard didn't scare all life away before he had a chance.

But it didn't generally matter, for Bob was a bit of a malco, and was useless at killing stuff anyway. Many of his friends were also pathetic shots with a spear - Bob was one of the few not to have turned vegetarian to ease the embarrassment. And he would have done too, if it wasn't for the fact that McDonald's always took ages to get a vege-burger ready, but a beef burger was ready in five seconds.

So Bob went in search of wild vegetables; the first he found were courgettes. These were a bit like marrows, only they were not so big, because they hadn't had so long to grow (it being a long time ago and all that). He also found some mushrooms, potatoes, carrots, and a coconut.

The coconut was not actually wild as such - although it did take a bit of winning on Bob's part. However, he would much have preferred to have won the bottle of wine on the hoopla. But he'd never have had a chance, because he was a complete malco, and he'd only won the coconut shy cos he was quite strong, and so had lifted up a huge rock, and knocked over them all. Pity the others had all smashed.

But he was happy with his food, and carried it back to his cave, happily humming songs to himself. Which was sensible, cos there was no-one else to hum them to.