"Yes, indeed I do know," said Kel "It is three paces to the right of the old oak tree situated nineteen yards away from the hut where the gold-diggers dwell"

"Ta, mate," said Ian, and walked off.

Kel was about to say - "in other words, it's down the road and turn left at the lights" - but Ian had by then vanished, which was silly of him, but then he was a particularly silly bloke.

So Ian went off on his hunt to find the hut which was nineteen yards away from - oh whatever the hell it was. His first task seemed to be to find the gold-diggers. This seemed no mean feat. But Ian didn't see it like that - he thought it'd be quite hard.

Still, he thought he must go in search of the gold-diggers, and thought the best way was to hope they had dropped lots of gold behind them, so he could follow the trail. He searched low, he searched high (which was a bit silly, since gold can't fly, but then he was a particularly silly bloke), he searched night and day, but alas, after a good ten-minute search in the morning, and another after tea, he still hadn't found any gold. So he figured he ought to try another line of attack. ____________________________ (that was it - his next bright idea is going to be to invent a wire that can only conduct in one direction).

Ian eventually decided to go to the gold-diggers convention that was happening that weekend, in a small town called Eladhcor. After buying a train ticket from London to Eladhcor, he realised that he was already in Eladhcor, since it was where he lived, so he used the train ticket for picking apple peel out of his teeth instead. He didn't have any apple peel stuck in his teeth - why would he? - but that just made it a more exciting challenge.

So that weekend, in Eladhcor park, the gold-diggers started arriving. It took them a while, as they weren't too good at finding things as small as parks, but eventually they arrived, and Ian was ready with his first question...