They arrived a few footsteps later, met Sam, and presented him with his bag of fried doughnuts. They each got a pint of beer and a cup of coffee from the bar, and sat down at a table to discuss their plans with Sam.

At that moment, Bert came in, asking them if they'd had lunch yet. Chris and Dave had to admit they'd eaten already, but Sam asked for some food. Dave pointed out the bad etiquette of eating alone, and ordered something for himself and Chris as well.

"Sam, we're moving into hiding and setting up a black market in fried food," said Dave, not bothering with any conversational foreplay, "We need a place we can use for official matters, you know, the sort of place we can get post sent to and so on. Of course there would be extra doughnuts for anyone able to help us out..."

You might expect that anyone with any intelligence, running a successful business, and asked to assist organised crime, would turn down the offer. But you would be underestimating three things. Firstly, Chris and Dave were halfway to being Fried Gangsters, what with the infamous bridge nights and their control over the eating habits of a whole town (or just a hole-town). Secondly, you would be underestimating the size that Sam's belly had now grown to, and lastly, you would be surprised at the addiction that can build up towards fried doughnuts. Chris and Dave could never explain the reason why, but it was a well known fact in the food circles that fried doughnuts, once tasted, could never be given up.

"Sure, Dave, I'll help you out, but you'll need more than me. If you're going to be carrying out what you do now but without being arrested, you're going to need a few more people to help deal with customers: in all senses of the word 'deal'."

Sam's warning seemed destined to continue as he started giving a new piece of information, "I need another pint".

Deciding that the value to be gained from listening to Sam was lessening, Chris and Dave left The Hot Pan and Oil, taking Bert with them.

Bert was not entirely sure why he was being taken off, but he was soon informed of his talent for finding disreputable prospective colleagues. He had not recalled ever having had such a talent, but a short comment from Chris about his cooking and the part played by a microwave, and he suddenly remembered.

So Bert rounded up a few villains, and got roughed up by a few others. The elite few, all men of large stature and appetite, were brought before Chris and Dave. Fortunately, since their arrival in Grimsby, the pair had gained quite a reputation, and so their employees-to-be were in awe at first, and quite willing to be their servants.

Soon they were a loyal band of thugs, who were fed on plates of fried meat, and who drank oil by the pint. These men became known as the Grease Balls by other locals, and Chris and Dave found themselves in an increasingly powerful position in the underground community. By the time the three months had passed, and Big Bite was forced to close down, Chris and Dave were running a great line in fried products near the big factory, and Sam was still getting his locals coming to the Hot Pan and Oil after they had eaten. Bert was finding his job better than ever, since he had found a cheap microwave that could do his cooking even quicker than before, and he had recently discovered the complex methods needed for cooking baked potatoes using it.

Things were going very well for everybody. Everybody except Matt.