Sensational Readers' Poll Result

The people of Bath have most certainly been stirred, enthralled and utterly captivated by the current scandal involving the Ms YerLegason hoax council meeting minutes, writes Robin Peterson. It has also dominated conversation nationally, internationally, globally, galatically and, according to some reports, even inter-galactically (we stress that these reports are unconfirmed). Yesterday we asked YOU the people of Bath your opinion on the burning issue of the day and the response was phenomenal, extra-ordinary, astonishing. The result was sensationally, amazingly, astoundingly, an exact, perfect dead heat. Yes that's right 50.000 % of you thought Pauline YerLegason should be imprisoned and unbelievably 50.000 % of you thought that she shouldn't. (Total votes: zero). That's right, not ONE person voted, making this poll officially the least successful of all time. It is without doubt another demoralising blow to the village of Bath which adds this dubious distinction to its growing list of un-wanted records and honours. Other records held by Bath:

1) Britain's dirtiest city 'Clean Britain Magazine'.
2) Britain's worst entertainment, musical and cultural centre 'Moe Zart - Cool Britannia Magazine'.
3) England's worst centre of sporting excellence (a small Welsh sheep-farming hamlet beat Bath to the British title).
4) England's worst university.
5) Europe's worst masters computer conversion university course - BY FAR.
6) Britain's worst Mecca Bingo Centre, Mrs Honour My-Owne 'Old People's Weekly'.
7) England's worst aviation enthusiasts society, Vic Tory-Role 'The Aviation Annual'.
8) Britain's place in which you're most likely to get ill, Dr. Perce Scription.
9) Europe's least friendly kebab seller, 'The Complete European Guide to Kebab Vendors'.
10) England's most unimaginatively dressed and least fashion conscious place 'Miss Cher Nell - WearIt Magazine'.

Another bad day for boring old Bath. Who in their right mind would ever want to come here?

(Special thanks go to Microsoft Thesaurus for this edition)



Police Shut Down Gazette Scandal