The British Mathematics Society today declared the maths department at Bath University to be an official shambles writes Robin Peterson. The society no longer regards the subject taught by the department to actually be mathematics. "It's more of an applied study of guesswork that goes on there" said society president Helen Robinson. "I'd like a cup of tea" she continued. Experts believe that all maths related courses with have their names blackened forever by todays announcement. Convertion courses WILL be affected a source had confirmed.

Elsewhere in Bath today, the last snooker club closed down as their student based membership had all had their membership cards pick pocketed and couldn't afford to rejoin. The news is another big blow to Bath especially after the city's last pub closed only one week ago.