It's mayhem in Bath tonight as sensationally, the natural hot water spring that serves the ancient roman Baths just petered out. Robin Peterson was at the scene. Aproximately three o'clock this afternoon the incident occured. The event is completely unprecidented in the long history of the city (and more recently town and village). A leading scientist commented, "Hmm, How odd". There were a fair number of tourists at the location around fifteen hundred hours. An american visitor, Yankee Doodleson, told me, "It just stopped man, it just stopped!". I asked Mr Doodleson whether he would come back tomorrow to see if it came back, he replied "No. I'll sue them for every last dime they have". Another disgruntled american tourist, a Mr Starsan' Striperson commented "Come along honey, let's get out of this god damn town". "Village", I corrected him.

Other news tonight, the government have decided to dig up the M4 and rebuild it so that it doesn't go quite so close to Bath. When asked about the point of this expensive and somewhat frivolous measure an official source commented, "We can't expect normal people to have to drive so perilously close to this waste ground". Another bad day for Bath.