Sensational reports are coming in this evening that a man by the name of David Short is seriously considering coming to the wreckage of a village known as Bath - BY HIS OWN FREE WILL, writes Robin Peterson. The man, currently studying at York University, has no past record of mental illness making the reports all the more staggering. Having received a tip off, the Gazette sent an undercover reporter to talk to Mr Short's housemate Lindsay Collins to ascertain whether the rumours were truthful. Miss Collins did indeed substanciate the rumours at which point our reporter revealed his true identity. Miss Collins commented, "Ooops". After the breaking of the remarkable story, I tracked down Mr Short in person. I asked him for an interview to which Mr Short gave a five minute reply that boiled down to 'yes'. I first asked if he was considering not only visiting, but plausibly living in the cesspit-like grave yard of former beauty that is modern day Bath. Mr Short remarked, "Well, ha ha, you know, ha ha, well, it's still early days, ha ha, well, you know, well, I... I... well, ha ha, maybe, you know how it is, well, ha ha, I... I... I..., well, ha ha, in this day and age you know how it is when.. ha ha, well, ha ha. Do you like my London Zoo pen?" So we're none the wiser. Still, it's the best news Bath has had since the Antiques Roadshow came in 1989.