There was almost a slight hint of jubilation in Bath tonight as the local paper won three prizes at the prestigious 'Fictitious Electronic Evening Newspaper of Year' award ceremony. The event, televised live on some obscure cable channel, was held in Doncaster (winners of last years main prize) and was presented, inevitably, by Denise Van Outen. Besides the main award for newspaper of the year, the Bath entry also bagged the awards for best reporter (Robin Peterson) and best article (The closure of Seymour International's operations, by Robin Peterson). Miss Van Outens ridiculously over enthusiastic presentation seemed to go unappreciated by the two dozen strong audience (who had incidentally been paid to attend), as did Mr Peterson's somewhat protracted acceptance speech.

"I'd like to begin by thanking the editorial team and the story writers. I'd also like to thank my parents for... (becoming tearful) standing by me (sniffle) in the early days when I couldn't even get column space as a junior at the North-West Herefordshire Fictitious Farming Issues Courier. And most of all, I'd like to thank the mighty village of Bath for being so immeasurably rubbish that I could never run out of things to write about".

Today was probably Bath's best day since the semi-final of One Man and His Dog was held on a small farm only five miles out of town in 1981.