Once upon a time, a long long time ago, in the distant past, quite a while back, there was a man. There was also a woman, but she was only good for ironing, cleaning and cooking, and since the man didn't like flat female for dinner, however hygenically produced, she tended to be left in the corner instead.

The man was much more interesting, being handsome, clever, brave, strong, and generally not at all like the woman. Therefore, this story will be mainly about the man.

He was tall, he was thin, and his name was short and fat, it being Bob. Now Bob was a bit of a caveman, since this was the trend at the time (it was a very very long time ago). This meant, amongst other things, that he lived in a cave. And he was a man. His wife lived in a corner of the cave, usually the back left, unless Bob had a friend round, in which case his friend's wife was given that spot.

But Bob didn't often have friends round, because telephones hadn't been invented yet, so he couldn't ring them up and invite them over.