If hot comes into contact with a human, the human will experience pain; the hot will just find it very funny.
A metal bar is like a hot-el. Hot likes to live in it. This happens when hot is attracted to the metal bar by electricity (such as an electric grill) or fire (such as a tripod next to a bunsen burner). If a human places his hand near the bar, the limited flying ability of the hot will allow the most energetic hot to fly or jump onto his hand, which can cause mild pain. If the hand touches the bar, all the hot, even baby hot, granny hot and invalid hot, can walk and crawl onto his hand, causing extreme pain (and extreme merriment among hot).
Hot likes to swim. This occurs when hot is attracted near water, either by electricity or by fire. The hot collects in the bar or round the fire, and when there is no more room for the hot there, it spreads out into adjacent water and swims about (such as in a boiling kettle). If this hot-infested water is placed on human skin, the hot can swim onto the human, which, by the zero'th law, causes the human pain.
Hot likes a bit of a thrill. This is similar to humans liking fairground rides and extreme sports. Hot gets its thirlls by sitting in things which are moving quickly. For example, a motor which goes round at high speed will attract lots of hot, which will sit in the motor and have a great time. If a human places his hand on the motor, any hot which falls off the motor will land on his hand, causing pain to the human, and leaving the hot giggling.
Underneath the laws of hot you can read a question written: Which is Faster, Hot or Cold? - but you can't read the writing underneath that presumably answers the question.
As you read it to yourself, a large woman sitting nearby overhears you and says, "Oh, I know that one - it's cold, because you can catch a cold!! Ha ha ha". You watch her keel over with laughter, and try to work out why it is funny, and why if you can catch cold it is necessarily fast. You use her pathetic answer to draft up a better answer in favour of hot.