You go to the group in the corner and introduce yourself. They seem friendly, and offer you a can. You take it, keeping half an eye on the barman to check he hasn't noticed you're drinking someone else's beer in his pub. He seems too busy eating to notice.

On the table, being ignored by them for the moment, is a newspaper article about a fire at the local school. It burned down the hall, and is reckoned by the writer to be 'A welcome new development at Dogerbeef School'. You smile as you see a big smiley face painted on the car-park in the picture next to the article.

You look to see what the group are studying - a few beermats on the table with writing on. They see your interest, and ask if you can think of anything to add to their Intoxicated list. You can't think of anything straight away, so they give you another beer to help you. Sadly, this has the effect of sending you to sleep.

You wake up a bit later, to find yourself covered in shaving foam, tinsel and malted milk biscuits, so have to have a quick wash before you leave the pub.