You follow Hairy into the book and cd shop, and instantly become irrisitably attracted to the place. You feel you really must buy something. Somethings. Your will power makes it clear that on this occasion it won't. So you look around for some things to buy.

On the cd floor, you hunt around, find a few things you like, but decide you can probably get them cheaper from PMS. You move instead to the books floor, and have a search for something of interest to spend the book tokens your Uncles have given you for the last four years.

In the science section, you discover The Blagger's Guide to Surviving Electronics which has some good diagrams, and the recommended Capstick Guide looks quite good, but none of these seem good enough to spend your birthday(s) money on, so you move over to the fiction section.

Before you reach the fiction shelves, your attention is drawn to a bookshelf of books on sale - you have a look to see if there's anything you like, but they are a little disappointing. You also notice the Assvauxhall Dictionary of Quotations which draws your attention for a bit, but then deciding a bit is not enough, scrumples up the picture and throws it into a corner.

Over in the fiction section, you are taken by a small red adventure book, and set one token aside for its purchase. An aisle or two later, you add to your collection the play written by Robin Peterson and published by his fan Peter Robinson: Ye Olde Tales of Fulforde.

After these two literary works, you ask the shop assistant, a man named Matt who is engaged in making sure every book is the same distance from the edge of the shelf, if he can suggest anything more lighthearted. He advises you to try The Land of Nod, Bob's Great Plan, or God Gone.

As you pay for the books, you take a small leaflet from the checkout's display:

From the bestseller "An Extremely Silly Story...", the FULL MATHS TEST.

You put the books in a bag, she chokes to death, so you run back into the cul-de-sac before anyone notices.